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“When I Wake Up”

Good Afternoon LADIES,

How are we? I hope each of you is doing Amazing as for me I had to take a moment and blog about something that has been on my mind for the last month or so. (Listen to music while reading)


Here goes: I think Jill Scott said it best in the song, “When I Wake Up” in the opening she says “too much on my mind,” is exactly what I have had going on. So for the last month I have felt the pressure of life and wanting to leave AR so bad. I feel that it is so slow and no room for real progression. Really I ultimately miss living in California and I long to be back there. It’s been so unsettling that it almost makes me want to pull out the little spackle of hair that sits upon my head. I try to get busy doing things to find fulfillment or pleasure but even those things only give me the temporary excitement. I often have to ask myself the question really what is it that I’m wanting or feeling that I am missing in life. And the only thing I can think of is true happiness now how do I gain this? All I hear in my ear is what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul. Now with that being said, “That’s deep.” Am I seeking the world to truly gain happiness? You know the killing thing is when you know you are anointed and that God has a call and plan for your life that the test and trials seem that much greater. I am realizing that when you line your life up in total submission of what God has and wants to do for you that is when that feeling of discontentment and wanting to escape will soon fade. I would be wrong to lead you to believe that I seek God in every area of my life which is why my fight seems that much greater. Some make it seem that living a life totally and completely for Christ is an easy task. No Mam and No Sir (in case guys read this, lol) it’s hard as all get out because that feeling of I’m going to miss something or miss out becomes a part of our decision to live completely for him. But when I wake up everything I went through will be BEAUTIFUL. Long story short, main thing that needs to be done is to get out of your head. Ask God what do you have in store for me? Where am I headed? What do you want me to fulfill so that you can get and receive the glory. Remember that Worth It, You Are!!!

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