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In His Response, "Daddy Never Forgot you Selina"

Hello Everyones,
This blog is a follow up to my previous blog titled, "Not your Typical Fathers Day Message".   I have been meaning to get this up for quite sometime now but life has been happening.  In this blog you will see my Dad's response to what I posted.  I know personal, huh.  But the first step to healing is being transparent and not afraid to allow people to see you for who you really are and what you have gone through. 

Selina,
To begin with, I want you to know how proud of you I am. I’m especially proud of how you’re allowing yourself to move forward with your life and truly working on putting the past behind you. I know it wasn’t easy for you growing up without me and I NEVER wanted that to happen but circumstances and life just seem to play a part in killing the best laid plans. When you were born, it was probably one of the happiest days of my life. You were MY daughter.
 Without getting into details, I’ll just tell you that for the next few years, before I did leave to pursue the next phase of my career, you and I were almost inseparable. I loved you so much and never dreamed that I would be out of your life. There were times that I didn’t take you to the babysitter just so you could hang out with me all day. I’d take you to band rehearsal with me and you seemed to have a good time. I still don’t know how you would sleep through the loud music at times. I remember teaching you words of objects and things like ‘fire truck’. You were so funny when I heard you try and pronounce ‘fire truck’. You said ‘firefruck’. Of course I had to get that right. I remember how your mother would fix your hair in long ponytails. You were like a beautiful little black doll.
Again without getting into the details of it all because it was adult relationship[marriage] problems, I knew that I would have to make a change in order to maintain my own sanity but at the same time not compromise what I had worked so hard for during my life. My ONLY regret was that I would have to leave my precious baby girl.  From that point, it seems like time just stopped for me. Yeah, I continued on but there was an ever-growing void in my life. I knew what it was but there was nothing I could do about it. If I could have had you with me, I would have fought tooth and nail for you, but most of the time, I didn’t even know how I was going to survive.  My instability and lifestyle as a traveling musician was no place for you. So, I had to just do what I could to try and stay in touch with you. I never forgot to send you birthday cards, money and gifts when I could. I do remember talking to you on the phone occasionally. Every time that would happen, I was left with that sinking feeling when you would say “good bye daddy”. I had pictures of you and me which I have kept with me till this day.
When I did finally make it back to Arkansas to visit with you, I could feel the hurt that you had been experiencing. You had no problem in making me feel uncomfortable but I had to live with that. It was not and has never been your fault, so I had to just absorb the hurt that you were feeling and keep my composure. I’m sure that if you could have cursed me out and beat me down, you would have. Hey, I was ready for anything because I knew that in your eyes, I had left you and that I didn’t care anything about you and everything else derogatory. As you know now, none of that was the case. 
Well, I guess I’ve rambled on enough. The point that I want to make is that I’m glad that GOD has opened your mind and your heart to me. I’m sure that time and maturity has also played a part, but regardless, you know that I have always loved you and been there for you. You have always been in and on my mind and that now my life to, is so much better just because we are on the mends. My mother [your grandmother] tells me constantly that she has been praying for us for years and years and now her prayers have been answered. So have mine.
I Love you Selina,       Dad

Reading this letter was so touching for me and I really appreciated the fact that he was willing to write a response because there are 2 sides to every story and you never know the hurt you feel the other person maybe going through similar emotions.  Lets all move forward and continue to walk in knowing i am Worth it!!!

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