Merry Christmas Ladies,
It is on this day that I reflect on my Grandmother. Her memory lives on even more during this season and seems to hurt all the more with her not being here. In this blog I have wrote an Ode to my Gran-Ma-Ma (thats the name I would call her).
I remember the days of being in the country and spending those special moments with you.
I remember as a Little Girl wanting to duplicate everything you did from pulling up a chair to the sink to help you wash the dishes and as time went on and I grew bigger that became my chore. I hated doing it then, lol but would do anything for you!!!
I remember the times you would sit me down to comb my hair and I would get up with more grease on my forehead than in my hair. lol
I remember the nights when it would be time for bed and I'd nestle my little body close up under you as I would suck my thumb and play with your ear. You did not like it but you still allowed me to do it because you knew it brought me comfort.I remember you in the kitchen cooking those feast of meals and I would be in the way wanting to lick the spoon and help. And I would laugh so hard as I would mess with you about saying "urn-ions" and not "onions." And you would say "hush now," lol because you never liked to be corrected.
I remember you whipping up the meringue for your chocolate pies that mom and I would fight over every holiday so you eventually had to make us each one. To this day I wish I had the recipe or at least paid more attention.
I remember that one time you made me go find a switch so you could whoop me because I always had a slick mouth. Um, I believe it hurt you more than it hurt me.
I remember the time my life was almost taken at the hands of my cousin who tried to drown me as a little girl. I was so clueless back then but just like my angel you came from out of nowhere and saved me.
I remember the times I would come to church and run straight to your pew so I could sit by you and you'd have your outbursts of saying "Sigma Hiyah Lord" and standing up and saying "I would like to Thank and Praise the Lord for all his blessings" as the spirit of tongues would just flow from you. You would have your tamborine and sing off key but it still sounded so sweet to me.
I remember in those times you would say "You gone sing for grandma today" and I would be shy nodding my head no because I was to afraid. You had so much confidence in me!!!
I remember us talking about me getting baptized in Jesus name and I would always say "No" because I felt there were too many rules like "you can't wear earrings, pants, cut my hair or anything" I used to think even back then that was just not for me. But before you made your transition from this life I was glad that I made you proud by taking that step finally. I wasn't as restricted as you were but I still know it made you happy.
I remember being older and driving down to see you and telling you somethings about me that I knew you didnt want to hear but you always listened and never uttered a word of rebuke or judgment.
I remember the times I would come get you and take you to your appointments and you would be so afraid riding with me and watching my speed limit "saying you better slow down."
I remember taking you to Taco Bell/KFC and we would feast and you would be like "don't tell your mama cause she is gone be mad." lol Now whenever I pass that exit I am often reminded of those days.
You have no idea how much I miss you so. I remember on the very day before God called you home, you seemed to still be conscious because I asked you if I could pray with you and you nodded "yes" and it seemed after that very moment a peace came over me and time stood still and I knew you were headed to a better place. And eventhough I know I didn't want you to go because I knew mom would be extra sad and that the family would fall apart so May 25, 2008 is a day etched in my mind and as we celebrate yet another holiday, December 25th has never been the same. I cried for you today for the 2nd time in the past 5yrs and 7mths you have been gone. I always have been strong just like you but I guess today my strength gave out and I succumbed to the grief of you no longer being here. Your spirit is missed, Your physical body is missed especially those bear hugs and Your voice is missed, hearing you calling me your "sweet suga" and telling me to be a "sweet girl now." And no matter how selfish I want to be right now I find comfort in knowing you are resting and are at peace so for now all I have are these memories. This is my Ode to you Gran-Ma-Ma. I Love You!!!
So to all of you that have taken the time to read this please take a moment and love on your family sweetly and deeply because we know life is not promised to any of us. And to lose such a Powerful Matriarch like I had life just hasnt been quite the same. Love one another through lifes trials, tests, family secrets, hardships and pain because its through family that we find ourselves. Forgive one another quickly and not hold on to things that aren't important. Family is all we have so Love one another, Embrace one another and Enjoy one another. For Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things (I Corinthians 13:7) Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!
Beautiful ode Selina :).
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