Hey Ladies,
I know my blogs have been few and far between but I had to let time have its way and different situations inspire me to write something of substance and meaning. I'm sure after this blog I will step on a few toes but one thing I'm not going to do is apologize for being REAL yall already know transparency is my middle name so here goes. (Please cue the music before starting to read)
I know some of you maybe thrown off by my title and thinking I have blown a gasket or lost my mind because my blogs are blogs to inspire and uplift but don't get it twisted its still going to do just that except this time I'm coming woman to woman and shooting straight from the hip. "You Wonda Y They Call You Bitch," is inspired by all those young ladies/ women that feel its ok to call each other by this name but let a man call them one all Hell breaks lose. Whatever happened to respecting yourself and not answering to something that carries so much weight of disrespect. In the dictionary we know that Bitch means a female canine animal; a woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing; a lewd (lustful) woman now for those of you that use this word so loosely is this what you consider yourself or your friend. I mean the word just seems to roll off of somes tongues so easily with no knowledge of how the other person may feel. What happened to the days when we acknowledged each other simply by our names or a cute little pet name but instead now we use "BITCH" as if its some "term of endearment" meaning a word or phrase used to address and to describe a person which the speaker feels love or affection. I for one am sick of hearing it now you tell me does that word sound or mean something loving. In my opinion it shows complete disrespect and no form of uplifting or empowerment. Just because we see the Housewives or the Basketball Wives use this word so loosely doesn't mean we have to follow suit because alot of what they do is not always uplifting, inspiring or empowering. We are to pour Great things into one another not demoralize or defame someones character. Words carry so much power and meaning. I came up with an acronym for the word:
B- BRUTALIZING
I- IDENTITY
T- THREAT
C- CORRUPTING
H- HOME
Now imma break it down for you, (B)rutalize means to make cruel, harsh or unfeeling, (I)dentity means a set of behavioral or personal characteristics by which an individual is recognizable as a member of a group, (T)hreat means an expression of an intention to inflict pain or injury, evil or punishment, (C)orrupt means tainted; putrid; to change for good to bad in morals, manners or actions; to degrade with unsound principles or moral values, (H)ome means a place where one lives, a place of residence. So what I'm saying is "Stop brutalizing your identity by posing a threat and corrupting home which is your temple." Everything you answer to is not always good. Remember the saying 'its not what your called but what you answer too." Answer to things that are empowering like you are fearfully and wonderfully made and that you are made in the image and likeness of God. We know that death and life are in the power of the tongue so why destroy someone or allow yourself to be destroyed by answering to a word like that. Just think about the fact that a man would form his lips to say that word its World War III but whats the difference if you are using it and answering to it. I charge you to take thought about your words and what you speak over yourselves and others especially that you call your friends. If you don't care why would anyone else. We Must Do Better!!! As yall can see this really upsets me and does something to my spirit. I feel like we must always carry ourselves with excellence and not like we don't care for one another. I just can't allow a friend to call me that even if she is giving me a compliment. You can always find another word to use but not something so derogatory so to my friends or associates if you happen to use this word while speaking to or addressing me I will make it known that I just don't like it and will not accept it. We have to keep in mind that the younger generation is watching us and following in our footsteps so lets lead by example. Lets be the change we want to see in the world cause I feel for the next generation. We have to be lights of hope, love and respect so lets try something different and acknowledge each other in another way. And know that each and everyone of us are Worth It!!!
Thank you for your transparency. We as women needed to hear this. If the truth can't be told, what else is left?!
ReplyDeleteThat was really awesome! We've has this convo face to face so I know your passion about the subject. What you said is very true! And you're right...some women answer to that...so that is their known worth. I accept the challenge, but I also acknowledge if/when I use the word...it will hold its meaning. XOXO
ReplyDeleteYES! Thank you. I am so glad you hit on that topic I hate being called that. I have had a few arguments with some so called friends...needless to say they are not my "friend" anymore. Great blog.
ReplyDeletethis is good lady....
ReplyDeleteIn my younger days I used the word quite often. Thanking God for growth and maturity. It is a horrible word and like you said disrespectful. Keep putting this out there. Its up to us to teach our younger sisters and hopefully guide them so they don't make the same mistakes we made.
ReplyDeleteHey you need to address when it became cool to be a hoe..
Good piece. I agree with you we have started using this and many others words out of context just because we see it on tv or hear it in a song. We must start this practice of being better at HOME first.
ReplyDeleteThank you for addressing this issue. It does seem that we have allowed the word "bitch" to become acceptable; just like the word "nigga." We are okay with it and not even realizing what it is doing to our self-esteem as a people. The issue is that we have allowed (like you stated) all of this reality television to dictate the norm. We have become desensitized and don't even blink an eye when we hear it or see it. We slowly allow these types of subtleties to creep into our spirits and then for some, they become apart of our dialect. And, without correction or calling it out (like this blog does) we eventually recognize it as the norm or we justify the behavior. I am in agreement with you and the other ladies that left responses. We can and must do better. It is a MANDATE! And, we can all start by not supporting the foolishness on television that capitalizes on our acting a fool. While we are calling each other "bitches" they are taking that bitch word straight to the BANK! "We have to stop allowing others to profit off of our ignorance!"
ReplyDeleteVery good read! I guess some many things can become trend that it sticks with us and once it's stuck, it's hard to rid... but it all comes with a mindset and challenge to change our words because what we say defines our character. Thanks for this insight, now it's going to stick out more when I hear it from girlfriends!
ReplyDeleteWow I agree with you but we have been conditioned to think this term along with others such as night is cool and accepted if we embraced it if fact we have been brain washed... Power in words!
ReplyDeleteWonderful outlook on the topic. I honestly can say I was once a victim of the belief that it was okay for my associates to call me that and vice versa, thank god things have changed. I've grown wiser, since I know better I can do better. Time to teach our youth...
ReplyDelete