From Feeling Inadequate to Being Adequate!

Good Day Ladies,

I was just sitting here thinking over last Saturday and the thoughts and feelings I was having.  I was so emotional and it started earlier that week. I had had a great conversation with my mom that was very healing because for so long I never fully knew who she was but once everything was brought out into the open I went into a depression because I started to realize that I didnt fully know who I was because of her not fully expressing who she was,  she wasnt capable of helping me figure out my own life.   At times, I would go through the mind battles of feeling unworthy and not good enough. As a matter of fact I had a photo shoot a while ago and was insulted because I wasnt "fit enough."  This comment came from someone that I considered to be influential in my life and it wasnt really about what they said but more or less how they said it.  Wait I take that back it was very hurtful.  I had previously had a conversation with them so they knew where my mind struggles were. The poem below breaks down really where I was in my thoughts.  (Play video before/while reading the poem).

 

Inadequacy

Your beautiful/ your so pretty/ you have a great personality/ your funny/ your so sweet/ but no one sees my inadequacy.

The mind battles/ the feelings of low self-esteem/ why don't I have anybody?

Look at my teeth/ oh, and did I mention your stomach, "its eating up my shirt."  

No one knows/ no one sees/ the inadequacies I feel inside of me./ My mind thinks like an 18yr old while I live a life in my late 20's./ How can I holla you're worth it/ or i am Worth it/ when I really don't believe./ It sounds good but it's my reality.  

Reality/ why doesn't anybody want me/ is it because I suffer from a disease/ DIS-EASE of dealing with my inadequacies/ some may call it a father deficiency.  

Now I want you to know and to realize that everything that glitters ain't gold/ and that everything that has a pretty exterior may just have a jacked up interior./ Now please don't judge me/ these are just my thoughts and what I am feeling/ but these inadequacies are taking over me.

OK Ladies!! I know there are some of you that have dealt with or felt this kinda way.  Mind Battles are a serious thing and can really affect you and your outlook on yourself.  No matter what good someone may say about you, the mind will combat it with negative thoughts anyway.  That's why everyday we have to strive to speak and think positively about ourselves.  

The poem below is something that a friend of mine gave me to help me get through these rough patches of low self-esteem and insecurities.  I hope that it helps you as much as it has helped me (even though, I just got it the other day, lol)  Recite it everyday and get it in you because what a woman thinks in her heart, so is she. 

My Deepest Fear

My deepest fear is not that I am inadequate.

My deepest fear is that I am powerful beyond measure.

It is my light, not my darkness, that most frightens me.

I ask myself, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who I am I not to be?

I am a child of God!

My playing small does not serve the world.

There’s nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure about themselves.

I was born to make manifest the glory of God that is within me.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us.

And as I let my own light shine,

I unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As I am liberated from my own fear, my presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson (edited by Kendal)

I absolutely HEART this poem!!!  It's so empowering and inspiring.  I pray that it blessed you as much as it blessed me.   Be blessed and be a blessing because you are Worth it!!!